http://shipscook.blog.co.uk/Rages, Rants and Recipes - A Hypertensive Writes en-EUMokoFeed10http://shipscook.blog.co.uk/http://data5.blog.de/design/preview/c2/252a2e000ad0dd837cd38c6c745105_160x200.jpghttp://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/20/blasphemy-7422597/tag:shipscook.blog.co.uk,2009-11-20:/2009/11/20/blasphemy-7422597/Fri, 20 Nov 2009 21:28:10 +0100 <p>I see that a group of 56 Islamic countries want the international community to implement laws making blasphemy a crime.</p> <p>This won't do. While I can respect people having belief they must not be allowed to dictate what others can say or do. Europe was fortunate enough to go through something called the Enlightenment in the 17th and 18th centuries that eventually freed us from the tyranny of blind belief in religion and we must not turn the clock backwards to the Middle Ages and have people stoned and burnt for perceived slights to supernatural beings, or being gay, atheist or mad.</p> <p>And what is blasphemy anyway? making graven images, believing in evolution or being an apostate? can you imagine a society where what we see or hear is dictated to by fundamentalist Christians? and what would people of other faiths be allowed to practice.</p> <p>Slippery slope.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/20/blasphemy-7422597/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>politicsnewsinsanityhttp://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/20/blasphemy-7422597/#commentshttp://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/20/pudsey-police-7422264/tag:shipscook.blog.co.uk,2009-11-20:/2009/11/20/pudsey-police-7422264/Fri, 20 Nov 2009 20:22:26 +0100 <p>They were round this morning going from desk to desk with their little bucket. </p> <p>Look I have nothing against charity but it pisses me off when people are coerced into it by exerting peer pressure at work, "ah go on don't be mean, its for children in need"</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/20/pudsey-police-7422264/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>entertainmentbearsnewshttp://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/20/pudsey-police-7422264/#commentshttp://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/19/i-m-a-celebrity-get-me-in-here-7416036/tag:shipscook.blog.co.uk,2009-11-19:/2009/11/19/i-m-a-celebrity-get-me-in-here-7416036/Thu, 19 Nov 2009 21:09:29 +0100 <p>where the expenses will be brill.</p> <p>Call me Dave's latest idea is to put Carol Vorderman in the Lords so that she could be Minister of education in a Tory cabinet.</p> <p>Is he having a laugh, at this rate the next Tory government will have more celebs in it than the Groucho Club what with Kirsty Young and hopefully Lemmy.</p> <p>Nominations now for who should join Dave and his funky pals in No 10. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/19/i-m-a-celebrity-get-me-in-here-7416036/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>politicsinsanityentertainmentmusicbonkers-britainhttp://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/19/i-m-a-celebrity-get-me-in-here-7416036/#commentshttp://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/18/swordfish-7410385/tag:shipscook.blog.co.uk,2009-11-18:/2009/11/18/swordfish-7410385/Wed, 18 Nov 2009 23:27:52 +0100 <p>Will I ever stay awake beyond the bit where Halle Berry is wearing those little orange pants? </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/18/swordfish-7410385/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>moviesentertainmenthttp://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/18/swordfish-7410385/#commentshttp://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/18/lunatic-drivers-7409340/tag:shipscook.blog.co.uk,2009-11-18:/2009/11/18/lunatic-drivers-7409340/Wed, 18 Nov 2009 20:29:58 +0100 <p>What is the problem with waiting at Traffic Lights?</p> <p>On my way to Sainsburys tonight this mad bitch decided not to wait at the lights but drove her fucking enormous pig ugly Rangerover around the three stationary cars and through the red lights on the wrong side of the road. This is the second time I have witnessed this sort of ignorant arrogant behavior around here within six months. To make matters worse it was dark. </p> <p>Still busy mum, probably late picking up Jocasta and Kumquat from ballet, perfectly safe in her gas guzzling monster. What does she care if she hits something, she will be OK, just have to clean the blood and brains of the radiator, oh no she's probably got a Kosovan to do that for her.</p> <p>Bitch </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/18/lunatic-drivers-7409340/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>ignorant-bloody-4wd-ownershttp://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/18/lunatic-drivers-7409340/#commentshttp://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/17/moorcock-to-write-dr-who-novel-7402619/tag:shipscook.blog.co.uk,2009-11-17:/2009/11/17/moorcock-to-write-dr-who-novel-7402619/Tue, 17 Nov 2009 21:56:44 +0100 <p>Reading the BBC News pages today I discovered that Michael Moorcock has been asked by the BBC to write an all new Dr Who novel. Ohhhhhh I thought that will be interesting given Mike's interest in multiple incarnations of the same character within a multiverse.</p> <p>Funny thing was back in I think 1977, I interviewed Mike for a publication I was working on at the time and over the course of the afternoon I spent at his Notting Hill pad we spent about half an hour talking about Dr Who and Mike said how much he'd like to write for it. Tom Baker was the Dr at the time and I'm not aplogising for saying he was the best! </p> <p>Anyhow the new book will probably be out in 2010 so something to look forward to there even if it is 33 years late! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/17/moorcock-to-write-dr-who-novel-7402619/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/17/moorcock-to-write-dr-who-novel-7402619/#commentshttp://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/15/and-if-you-though-the-purplesabs-was-weird-7374975/tag:shipscook.blog.co.uk,2009-11-14:/2009/11/15/and-if-you-though-the-purplesabs-was-weird-7374975/Sun, 15 Nov 2009 00:58:28 +0100 <p>Here is Joan Rivers introducing Husker Du</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/15/and-if-you-though-the-purplesabs-was-weird-7374975/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>insanitymusichttp://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/15/and-if-you-though-the-purplesabs-was-weird-7374975/#commentshttp://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/15/x-factor-7374911/tag:shipscook.blog.co.uk,2009-11-14:/2009/11/15/x-factor-7374911/Sun, 15 Nov 2009 00:30:45 +0100 <p>Blimey I have never watched the X Factor before ever, but tonight the Powder Monkey was watching it and she is only nine.</p> <p>I think I must be in shock, it was just bizarre as all the acts were coached by Brain May and Roger Taylor to sing Queen songs. A bit unfair really I mean how can you really emulate Freddie, he could sing the fucking Frog chorus and make is sound OK.</p> <p>So first up a bloke with lots of hair sings the worst Queen song ever Radio Ga Ga and is a bit shit, then a child who can't sing does Crazy Little Thing without any irony. Then the Olly fellow does Don't Stop Me Now, what a weedy voice. Olly is followed by some bloke who obviously lip syncs to Somebody to Love followed by the double Take Brothers doing Under Pressure with some rap thrown in. They are really quite appalling, but apparently according to Simon Cowell they coped really well with the idiot who got on stage with them, only I can't really say I noticed a specific idiot on the stage.</p> <p>Well then there is this Stacey Sullivan from Essex, or is it a Catherine Tate parody? frankly I don't care. Last bloke who's name I can't remember does not do a bad job of We Are the Champions but you know what, he ain't Freddie. </p> <p>Now on to the judges just what is Danii Minogue famous for, oh yeah her sister is a bit famous and she's shown her arse in FHM or something, Sheryl Cole sorry love can't understand a word and the other two play up their Mr Nasty personas while heaping praise on people who to be honest don't have much more going for themselves than misplaced confidence. As to the audience are they all mad or on drugs or something? I reckon they'd applaud a cat taking a shit so long as it was live on TV. </p> <p>anyway here's something a bit odd its Deep Purple an orchestra and Ronnie James Dio's Sabbath </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/15/x-factor-7374911/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>musicentertainmentbonkers-britainhttp://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/15/x-factor-7374911/#commentshttp://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/14/edinburgh-food-palaces-and-a-bit-of-art-deco-7372948/tag:shipscook.blog.co.uk,2009-11-14:/2009/11/14/edinburgh-food-palaces-and-a-bit-of-art-deco-7372948/Sat, 14 Nov 2009 17:17:41 +0100 <p>As readers will know the happy crew spent last weekend in Edinburgh and what a discovery we made.</p> <p>Just over the road from the Cabinet of Dr Caligari Travelodge in St Marys was this place</p> <p><a href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/empires/4108173" title="empires"><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/173/4108173_e00af2dc3f_m.jpeg" alt="empires"></a> </p> <p>A wonderful Turkish restaurant called Empires where you could get a mixed meze plate like this</p> <p><a href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/empires4/4108169" title="empires4"><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/169/4108169_a17785cd1a_s.jpeg" alt="empires4"></a></p> <p>with goodies like grilled Halloumi, hibesh (tahini with lemon and cumin), feta stuffed peppers, sucuk (Turkish spicy sausage) and patlican (aubergine cooked with tomato a peppers) for £12.95 evening or £8.95 lunchtimes. The food was excellent while the decor reminded me of a traditional Turkish house we had been shown around in Mostar in Bosnia. Should you be planning a visit take your own booze (a modest corkage will be charged) and cash as they don't take cards.</p> <p>I was also pleased to discover that as members of English Heritage we could get into Historic Scotland properties for free. That meant a free look around Edinburgh castle on Saturday afternoon. I was much taken by this building </p> <p><a href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/warmem/4108171" title="warmem"><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/171/4108171_21dc569a6b_s.jpeg" alt="warmem"></a></p> <p>Which is the Scottish National War Memorial. What I liked about it was the way that architect Sir Robert Lorimer had created a kind of medieval Art Deco so that while remaining in keeping with the environs of the castle it was also very much a product of the 1920s, just look at how those sentry boxes taper.</p> <p>Anyhow that evening we had a drink at the Waverley before heading off to the Ghandhi for Moff's birthday tea. As usual we were made to feel very welcome and had a lovely meal before heading off to the Auld Hoose for a nightcap or three. </p> <p>We had a much better return journey on the Sunday so only had time for a traditional Scottish breakfast</p> <p><a href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/breakfast/4108172" title="breakfast"><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/172/4108172_2b712e78cc_s.jpeg" alt="breakfast"></a></p> <p>at the Rabbi Burns in the Royal Mile, not bad for £6.95. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/14/edinburgh-food-palaces-and-a-bit-of-art-deco-7372948/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>travelshipscooks-edinburghboozeentertainmenthttp://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/14/edinburgh-food-palaces-and-a-bit-of-art-deco-7372948/#commentshttp://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/13/2012-7369594/tag:shipscook.blog.co.uk,2009-11-13:/2009/11/13/2012-7369594/Fri, 13 Nov 2009 23:46:14 +0100 <p>So the world is going to end in 2012 according to the film.</p> <p>The bad news is that its going to happen after the Olympics </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/13/2012-7369594/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>entertainmentleisurenewshttp://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/13/2012-7369594/#commentshttp://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/13/whiz-bang-7368996/tag:shipscook.blog.co.uk,2009-11-13:/2009/11/13/whiz-bang-7368996/Fri, 13 Nov 2009 21:33:59 +0100 <p>I think I may have done a better job of this that David Heathcote</p> <p><a href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/whizz/4105994" title="whizz"><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/994/4105994_c438fe66c5_s.jpeg" alt="whizz"></a> </p> <p>Two parts whisky<br> One part white vermouth<br> dash orange bitters<br> dash absinthe<br> dash grenadine </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/13/whiz-bang-7368996/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>boozehttp://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/13/whiz-bang-7368996/#commentshttp://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/12/touched-by-history-7354711/tag:shipscook.blog.co.uk,2009-11-11:/2009/11/12/touched-by-history-7354711/Thu, 12 Nov 2009 00:00:27 +0100 <p>A designer popped in to see me today. He's working on a project about Morcambe and Wise and had one of Eric Morcambe's BBC diaries. He let me handle it, what a thrill and an honour.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/12/touched-by-history-7354711/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>entertainmentleisurehttp://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/12/touched-by-history-7354711/#commentshttp://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/11/shipscook-is-a-prize-winner-7354616/tag:shipscook.blog.co.uk,2009-11-11:/2009/11/11/shipscook-is-a-prize-winner-7354616/Wed, 11 Nov 2009 23:38:17 +0100 <p>Howzabout that then - my travel guide to the Paris of Ernest Hemingway has been selected as one of the top Simonseeks travel guides for October and netted me a cool £200 in cash.</p> <p>Read it here if you are interested </p> <p><a href="http://www.simonseeks.com/travel-guides/paris-ernest-hemingway-bar-crawl__118218">http://www.simonseeks.com/travel-guides/paris-ernest-hemingway-bar-crawl__118218</a> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/11/shipscook-is-a-prize-winner-7354616/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>boozetravelnewsleisurehttp://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/11/shipscook-is-a-prize-winner-7354616/#commentshttp://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/11/travelodges-7348409/tag:shipscook.blog.co.uk,2009-11-11:/2009/11/11/travelodges-7348409/Wed, 11 Nov 2009 01:12:10 +0100 <p>I know they are cheapish but do they really have to be so scuddy. In the one I stayed in last week the fixtures and fittings were all so wonky that when I woke up I thought I was in a German Expressionist film set just like this</p> <p>The film is <em>The Cabinet of Dr Caligari</em> which was made in Germany in the 1920s. Its about a fortune telling sleepwalker Cesare, that Reg Holdsworth lookalike Dr Caligari keeps in a cabinet. Then he wakes up and runs amok. The bloke with the eye make up is Conrad Veidt who later turned up as Major Strasser in <em>Casablanca.</em></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/11/travelodges-7348409/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>shipscooks-edinburghtravelmovieshttp://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/11/travelodges-7348409/#commentshttp://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/11/leonard-cohen-7348334/tag:shipscook.blog.co.uk,2009-11-10:/2009/11/11/leonard-cohen-7348334/Wed, 11 Nov 2009 00:52:50 +0100 <p>£90 quid for a ticket plus £4.50 booking fee.</p> <p>Sod that if I want to listen to something depressing I can go to work and be paid to do it. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/11/leonard-cohen-7348334/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>entertainmentinsanitymusichttp://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/11/leonard-cohen-7348334/#commentshttp://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/11/train-announcements-7348329/tag:shipscook.blog.co.uk,2009-11-10:/2009/11/11/train-announcements-7348329/Wed, 11 Nov 2009 00:50:24 +0100 <p>These are genuine announcements made over the train tannoy on our very long journey up to Edinburgh the other week</p> <p>"There will be some sort of service provided"</p> <p>"There is only one piece of bacon left" (this was at 9,40 am)</p> <p>"The trolly dolly is both cantankerous and grumpy" </p> <p>I know National Express are losing the franchise for the East Coast Line, but still... </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/11/train-announcements-7348329/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>foodtravelbonkers-britainhttp://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/11/train-announcements-7348329/#commentshttp://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/10/edinburgh-fire-magic-and-vodka-7348127/tag:shipscook.blog.co.uk,2009-11-10:/2009/11/10/edinburgh-fire-magic-and-vodka-7348127/Tue, 10 Nov 2009 23:55:09 +0100 <p>Well as regular readers know we have been up and down to Edinburgh for the last few weekends only I have been too lazy to post anything thanks to that bloody virus I had the other week.</p> <p>So trip one was for the Samhuinn celebrations on October 31. </p> <p><a href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/samhuinn1/4097638" title="samhuinn1"><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/638/4097638_5181ed2dd1_s.jpeg" alt="samhuinn1"></a></p> <p>Here comes the Green Man with the crone and torchbearer narrowly avoiding a traffic cone, as they parade down the Royal Mile from the Castle. They were followed by hordes of vividly painted dancers and black clad drummers. </p> <p><a href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/drunmmers/4097651" title="drunmmers"><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/651/4097651_4b8b7d1c9b_s.jpeg" alt="drunmmers"></a></p> <p>The parade ended in front of St Giles Kirk where the ritual of the death of one year and the birth of another was enacted by the hordes of fire dancers and acrobats to the hypnotic beat of the raven masked drummers. I got right down the front and could feel the heat of the flames as the drumming intensified towards the climax of the performance. Haven't felt like that since Hawkwind in the 1970s. </p> <p><a href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/samhuinn4/4097652" title="samhuinn4"><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/652/4097652_668b019880_m.jpeg" alt="samhuinn4"></a></p> <p>Brilliant show and all for free, can't wait for the Beltain Fire Festival up on Carlton Hill next year.</p> <p>Anyhow after all that excitement we tried the Bank Hotel's bar but got driven out by an over amplified folk singer so we went to the Auld House instead.</p> <p>The following day we had a couple of hours to kill before our mid afternoon epic train journey so we had brunch at the Amber restaurant beneath the Whisky Centre, where we fell foul of Scotland's bizarre licensing laws. No booze before 12.30 on a Sunday! So the wine got canceled and my heather ale arrived after I'd finished my venison sausages. The home made tomato and onion soup was divine though. </p> <p>So still with an hour or two to go we wandered down Cockburn Street looking for somewhere to get a drink and found Secretarcade, a Polish Vodka Bar. Plenty of different types of vodka including juniper, rose and kosher plum. What a find. </p> <p>The trip home on the train was an endurance test though, a diversion from Edinburgh to Carlisle and then on to Newcastle added about an extra hour and half to our journey, National Express had somehow managed to sell far too many tickets for the train so the trolley could not move because people were standing for six and a half hours in the aisles and when we got to Kings Cross once again half the bloody tube network does not work as London gets ready for the sodding Olympics. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/10/edinburgh-fire-magic-and-vodka-7348127/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>boozehappy-crewshipscooks-edinburghentertainmenthttp://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/10/edinburgh-fire-magic-and-vodka-7348127/#commentshttp://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/10/true-blood-7344829/tag:shipscook.blog.co.uk,2009-11-10:/2009/11/10/true-blood-7344829/Tue, 10 Nov 2009 15:04:57 +0100 <p>C'mon its a bit rubbish isn't it? and aren't you just bored to the pointy back teeth with those sensitive misunderstood vampire types. Bring back proper evil blood sucking vampires like this </p> <p>or this with its jolly little Nightwish song</p> <p>Or better still how about a few of the cast of Rentaghost joining the regular cast</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/10/true-blood-7344829/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>leisurevampiresinsanityentertainmenthttp://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/10/true-blood-7344829/#commentshttp://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/10/waiting-for-the-man-7343230/tag:shipscook.blog.co.uk,2009-11-10:/2009/11/10/waiting-for-the-man-7343230/Tue, 10 Nov 2009 10:11:34 +0100 <p>I'm at home waiting for an electrician. He will be here between 8 and 1pm they say.</p> <p>Whats the betting it will be when I am in the khazi (for Americans that is a polite form of toilet he he).</p> <p>Anyway here's a suitable tune</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/10/waiting-for-the-man-7343230/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>musiclifehttp://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/10/waiting-for-the-man-7343230/#commentshttp://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/09/everybodies-doing-it-7340707/tag:shipscook.blog.co.uk,2009-11-09:/2009/11/09/everybodies-doing-it-7340707/Mon, 09 Nov 2009 23:35:22 +0100 <p>I'm knackered so rather than expend too much creative energy writing about the weekend I thought I'd give this a go</p> <p>1. Is there anyone of your friends that you would ever consider having sex with?<br> Well I like to think that the person I have sex with is my friend don't you?</p> <p>2. Sex in the morning, afternoon or night?<br> I am a morning person</p> <p>3. What side of the bed do you sleep on?<br> All of it</p> <p>4. Have you ever taken your clothes off for money?<br> Are you taking the piss?</p> <p>5. Have you ever had sex in the shower or the bath?<br> Naturally sometimes even with somebody else</p> <p>6. Do you watch/read pornography?<br> Can't be bothered anymore but do appreciate a nice bit of sculpture or painting</p> <p>7. Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed?<br> I don't see that it has to be either</p> <p>8. Do you love someone on your blogroll?<br> Come to think of it I do</p> <p>9. Would you choose love or money?<br> I want it all</p> <p>10. Your top three favorite kinks in bed?<br> I don't get this so I'm either very boring or a bit weird</p> <p>11. Has anyone ever gone beyond your personal line of respect sexually?<br> Ditto</p> <p>12. Where is the most romantic place you have had sex?<br> In a crappy little hotel in Paris</p> <p>13. Where is the weirdest place you have had sex?<br> I can't think that I have had sex anywhere weird, but I have had it in a Royal Park, does that count</p> <p>14. Have you ever been caught having sex?<br> In a Brighton hotel room, I'm sure the staff do it all the time</p> <p>15. Ever been to a bar just to get sex?<br> No.</p> <p>16. Ever been picked up in a bar?<br> People have tried.</p> <p>17. Have you ever kissed or had sex with someone of the same sex?<br> People who say they haven't are probably lying.</p> <p>18. Had sex in a movie theater?<br> No.</p> <p>20. Had sex in a bathroom?<br> If you mean a toilet say a toilet honestly you Americans I don't get how you want to carry guns but are afraid to say toilet, and the answer is no, if not how do think I manged no 5</p> <p>21. Have you ever had sex at work?<br> No</p> <p>22. Bought something from an adult store?<br> No.</p> <p>23. Do you own any sex toys?<br> No</p> <p>24. Does anyone have naughty pics of you or are you on film?<br> Do you think anyone would want them?.</p> <p>25. Have you ever had sex with someone and called them the wrong name?<br> No</p> <p>26. Do you think oral sex constitutes as a form of intercourse?<br> yes please</p> <p>27. What's your favorite sexual position?<br> Me underneath</p> <p>28. What's your favorite sex act?<br> the grand finale after the addagio.</p> <p>29. Have you ever had sex with more than one person at a time?<br> Yes.</p> <p>30. How many bloggers do you think will post this meme this week?<br> fasands of them. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/09/everybodies-doing-it-7340707/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>lifehttp://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/09/everybodies-doing-it-7340707/#commentshttp://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/06/lemmy-peerage-news-7318708/tag:shipscook.blog.co.uk,2009-11-06:/2009/11/06/lemmy-peerage-news-7318708/Fri, 06 Nov 2009 12:28:23 +0100 <p>I got a very charming letter from David Cameron this morning about my proposal for a peerage for Lemmy. </p> <p>In it he says </p> <p>"This is certainly an interesting proposal, and I am sure Lemmy would liven things up quite a bit in the House of Lords. the odd live performance of <em>Ace of Spades</em> would certainly blow the cobwebs away" </p> <p>A handwritten PS says "I'd love to meet him..."</p> <p>I'm sure he would, Lemmy is a very interesting person to talk to. Perhaps if Cameron is lucky Samantha will put a copy of Lemmy's biography, <em>White Line Fever</em>, in his Christmas stocking.</p> <p>I very much enjoyed Cameron's letter it shows he's taken some time and thought about what to say, which is far more than Boredom Groan did. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/06/lemmy-peerage-news-7318708/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>entertainmentlifepoliticshttp://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/06/lemmy-peerage-news-7318708/#commentshttp://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/06/this-is-how-its-done-7318595/tag:shipscook.blog.co.uk,2009-11-06:/2009/11/06/this-is-how-its-done-7318595/Fri, 06 Nov 2009 12:06:32 +0100 <p>A lot of people round our way are whingeing about the local council having given us wheelie bins for food and garden waste.</p> <p>Personally I think they are much better than the bags because you can do this</p> <p><a href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/whelie/4081817" title="whelie"><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/817/4081817_6c1b338d36_s.jpeg" alt="whelie"></a></p> <p>Yep plant the sod on its side and just sweep the leaves into it, takes about ten minutes to fill it then its done for the week. No trouble with bloody foxes pulling the bags open looking for bits of crust or fruit and it all gets recycled. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/06/this-is-how-its-done-7318595/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>leisurelifehttp://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/06/this-is-how-its-done-7318595/#commentshttp://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/06/i-haz-it-off-7318561/tag:shipscook.blog.co.uk,2009-11-06:/2009/11/06/i-haz-it-off-7318561/Fri, 06 Nov 2009 12:00:23 +0100 <p>Fat Munkey putz I in a box an takz I to the vetz thiz mornin.</p> <p>Vetman pokes me about an puts a cold fing on me chest then he sez I is much better, no mor flaky skin, so I'z can haz me trumpet off so whenz we getz home off it comz.</p> <p><a href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/cleo3/4081818" title="cleo3"><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/818/4081818_8b6354c203_m.jpeg" alt="cleo3"></a></p> <p>So now I canz get bak to givin me self that Brazilian.</p> <p><a href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/cleo2/4081819" title="cleo2"><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/819/4081819_8ec387852f_m.jpeg" alt="cleo2"></a> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/06/i-haz-it-off-7318561/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>happy-crewshipscatznewshttp://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/06/i-haz-it-off-7318561/#commentshttp://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/05/four-great-religious-truths-7315862/tag:shipscook.blog.co.uk,2009-11-05:/2009/11/05/four-great-religious-truths-7315862/Thu, 05 Nov 2009 23:46:02 +0100 <p>My thanks to a Canadian friend for this </p> <p>Four Great Religious Truths</p> <p> During these serious and trying times, people of all faiths should<br> remember these four great religious truths:</p> <p> 1. Muslims do not recognize Jews as God's chosen people.</p> <p> 2. Jews do not recognize Christ as the Messiah.</p> <p> 3. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the<br> Christian world.</p> <p> 4. Mennonites do not recognize each other at Hooters or the Liquor Store. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/05/four-great-religious-truths-7315862/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>lifenewsinsanityhttp://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/05/four-great-religious-truths-7315862/#commentshttp://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/05/gordon-brown-the-nuttyness-goes-on-7315851/tag:shipscook.blog.co.uk,2009-11-05:/2009/11/05/gordon-brown-the-nuttyness-goes-on-7315851/Thu, 05 Nov 2009 23:44:13 +0100 <p>Hardly a day goes by without Boredom Groan digging himself deeper into this drugs nonsense. His latest offering on sacking Prof Nutt is that its dangerous to be sending out mixed messages about drugs.</p> <p>OK Gordon we will stick to the government's approved approach (the one that has worked so well since the 1970s) of spouting a load of hysterical scare mongering drivel that most people don't believe because its so blatantly nonsense - just to keep the Daily Mail off your back. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/05/gordon-brown-the-nuttyness-goes-on-7315851/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>bonkers-britainpoliticshttp://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/05/gordon-brown-the-nuttyness-goes-on-7315851/#commentshttp://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/05/my-deleted-tags-7315825/tag:shipscook.blog.co.uk,2009-11-05:/2009/11/05/my-deleted-tags-7315825/Thu, 05 Nov 2009 23:35:30 +0100 <p>Only a few but still bloody annoying</p> <p>customer-don't-care-a-bit-thanks | peter-cushing-must-have-needed-the-money | let-the-train-cause-the-strain </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/05/my-deleted-tags-7315825/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>bloody-cheekhttp://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/05/my-deleted-tags-7315825/#commentshttp://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/04/now-gordon-brown-goes-nutts-7302889/tag:shipscook.blog.co.uk,2009-11-04:/2009/11/04/now-gordon-brown-goes-nutts-7302889/Wed, 04 Nov 2009 02:26:07 +0100 <p>I have to admit I have been enjoying seeing that class traitor Alan Johnson being exposed as the megalomaniac idiot that he is over his sacking of drugs advisor, Professor Nutt, for daring to disagree with him about drug classification and their relative dangers. After all how could a scientist possibly be better informed than a former postman. </p> <p>Now Boredom Groan has weighed in saying "It's right to say that drugs can cause such damage, particularly when dealers are pushing drugs on young people and making them victims of a cruel trade"</p> <p>So its right to spread hysterical nonsense that will make youngsters think that everything the government says about drugs is rubbish to stop them buying drugs from criminals? Sorry that is just daft, when I was a teenager I was told all kinds of bollocks about how smoking a bit of dope would inevitably lead to heroin and death in the gutter. It didn't stop me trying things at the time or thinking that most adults were idiots who just reiterated nonsense they could not back up from personal experience. If anything the idea that "responsible grown ups" like parents, teachers and politicians didn't approve just made us want to do it all the more, just the same as their attitudes to loud music, sex, smoking and drinking made those things cool too. </p> <p>So Gordon Brown is talking out of his arse to suggest that by sending out a strong message young people will be put off using drugs. Politicians just don't get it that people can tell when they are being peddled half truths and lies. </p> <p>As to making youngsters victims of a cruel trade all I can say is present government policy is driving them into the arms of criminals who do not discriminate on the grounds of age and have a vested interest in encouraging the use of more dangerous addictive drugs. Government policy clearly isn't working anyway, as despite the millions of pounds worth of seizures their PR people blurt on about there are still dealers out there doing very well from the trade. Millions of people across all classes are still using drugs for leisure purposes despite the government's hardline policy so why not bring it out in the open and decriminalise soft drugs so supply can be licensed, regulated and taken out of the hands of organised criminals.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/04/now-gordon-brown-goes-nutts-7302889/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>politicsbonkers-britainnewshttp://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/11/04/now-gordon-brown-goes-nutts-7302889/#commentshttp://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/10/30/hammer-horror-7277611/tag:shipscook.blog.co.uk,2009-10-30:/2009/10/30/hammer-horror-7277611/Fri, 30 Oct 2009 21:45:09 +0100 <p>I went to the opening night of the Hammer Festival at the Idea Generation Gallery in Shoreditch. It was brilliant as there were lots of photographs and posters from the Hammer Horror films that I grew up watching. And some great new in that the company is now back in production and their first new film <em>The Resident</em> will be out next year starring Christopher Lee who received his long overdue knighthood today.</p> <p>The exhibition is divided up into Hammer Horrors (Dracula, Frankenstein etc) Sci-Fi (Quatermass), Thrillers and Glamour (Maddy Smith, Barbara Shelley and Raquel Welch in that fur bikini from <em>One Million Years BC</em>) and it brought back many fond memories tinged with a little sadness when I read that the lovely Julie Ege (star of <em>Creatures the World Forgot</em> and <em>The Legend of the Seven Golden Vampires</em>) had died last year at the age of 64. I used to have a poster of her in <em>Creatures the World Forgot </em>on my bedroom wall when I was about 13.</p> <p>Here is Lee as Dracula from the restored original 1958 version</p> <p>The Idea Generation Gallery is a pig to find though, so print out the map from their website, closest tubes are Liverpool Street and Old Street </p> <p>More details here</p> <p><a href="http://mediacentre.ideageneration.co.uk/2009/10/14/hammer-festival/">http://mediacentre.ideageneration.co.uk/2009/10/14/hammer-festival/</a></p> <p>Big thanks to Mark for putting me on the guest list. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/10/30/hammer-horror-7277611/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>entertainmentshipscooks-londonhttp://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/10/30/hammer-horror-7277611/#commentshttp://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/10/30/oh-no-its-jim-carey-7277522/tag:shipscook.blog.co.uk,2009-10-30:/2009/10/30/oh-no-its-jim-carey-7277522/Fri, 30 Oct 2009 21:26:04 +0100 <p>Well fuck me if the Christmas lights are not up in Oxford Street</p> <p><a href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/xmarz1/4058427" title="xmarz1"><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/427/4058427_9c2556bd8d_m.jpeg" alt="xmarz1"></a></p> <p>Its really just a puff for for that new film version of A Christmas Carol with the world's least funny Canadian playing all the ghosts so no wonder they look a bit shit! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/10/30/oh-no-its-jim-carey-7277522/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>newsentertainmentshipscooks-londonhttp://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/10/30/oh-no-its-jim-carey-7277522/#commentshttp://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/10/30/alan-johnson-the-nutt-cracker-7277382/tag:shipscook.blog.co.uk,2009-10-30:/2009/10/30/alan-johnson-the-nutt-cracker-7277382/Fri, 30 Oct 2009 20:55:57 +0100 <p>I see Home Secretary Alan Johnson has sacked his Drugs Advisor Professor Stephen Nutt over his recent statements about the reclassification of cannabis and the harmful effects of booze and fags compared to Ecstasy and LSD. The former Postman's union boss said:</p> <p>"It is important that the Government's messages on drugs are clear and as an adviser you do nothing to undermine the public understanding of them. As my lead adviser on drugs harms I am afraid the manner in which you have acted runs contrary to your responsibilities."</p> <p>So what Johnson is in effect saying is that we paid you for advice, but it wasn't what we wanted to hear so clear your desk. Seems about right for Nu Labour "We know better than you even if we are not scientists"</p> <p>I read some interesting stuff today about how young people grow up to distrust the government when they are subjected to the general hysteria about drugs that millions of people use for recreational purposes with little negative side effect compared to the damage caused by smoking and drinking. Now I'm not saying that's the whole reason young people distrust the government, many politicians have not exactly covered themselves with glory with their recent expense claims for example. </p> <p>I'm also not saying that all drugs are harmless, but to put things in proportion there are many things that people do that are potentially injurious to health including contact sports, flying, rock climbing, riding motorbikes etc but these are not forced underground. It is my contention that criminalising drug use makes the problem worse, lets bring it out in the open where people who want drugs can by them from licensed premises where they are not cut with harmful chemicals and they can get advice from the pharmacist on how to use them in a (more) responsible manner. Illegal drug dealers don't care who they sell stuff to so lets take them out of the equation altogether. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/10/30/alan-johnson-the-nutt-cracker-7277382/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>politicsbonkers-britainnewshttp://shipscook.blog.co.uk/2009/10/30/alan-johnson-the-nutt-cracker-7277382/#comments