Blimey I have never watched the X Factor before ever, but tonight the Powder Monkey was watching it and she is only nine.

I think I must be in shock, it was just bizarre as all the acts were coached by Brain May and Roger Taylor to sing Queen songs. A bit unfair really I mean how can you really emulate Freddie, he could sing the fucking Frog chorus and make is sound OK.

So first up a bloke with lots of hair sings the worst Queen song ever Radio Ga Ga and is a bit shit, then a child who can't sing does Crazy Little Thing without any irony. Then the Olly fellow does Don't Stop Me Now, what a weedy voice. Olly is followed by some bloke who obviously lip syncs to Somebody to Love followed by the double Take Brothers doing Under Pressure with some rap thrown in. They are really quite appalling, but apparently according to Simon Cowell they coped really well with the idiot who got on stage with them, only I can't really say I noticed a specific idiot on the stage.

Well then there is this Stacey Sullivan from Essex, or is it a Catherine Tate parody? frankly I don't care. Last bloke who's name I can't remember does not do a bad job of We Are the Champions but you know what, he ain't Freddie.

Now on to the judges just what is Danii Minogue famous for, oh yeah her sister is a bit famous and she's shown her arse in FHM or something, Sheryl Cole sorry love can't understand a word and the other two play up their Mr Nasty personas while heaping praise on people who to be honest don't have much more going for themselves than misplaced confidence. As to the audience are they all mad or on drugs or something? I reckon they'd applaud a cat taking a shit so long as it was live on TV.

anyway here's something a bit odd its Deep Purple an orchestra and Ronnie James Dio's Sabbath