Ceridwenscauldron

I read with alarm that the Iranians have arrested a pair of pigeons for spying at the uranium enrichment plant at Natanz

Apparently the birds were wearing blue coated metal rings with invisible strings. this isn't the first time Iranian security has been infiltrated by agents from the animal kingdom, last year Iranian intelligence officers arrested 14 squirrels who were carrying the "spy gear of foreign agencies".

According to the Iranian State News agency the animals "were stopped before they could act"

Whether the pigeons were subjected to a security grilling is unknown but they are very tasty with a stuffing of dried apricot and pistaccio nuts.

Braving the blustery winds and raging storms after a hard day roaming the Seven Seas in search of plunder the Bosun and I put in at Mr Sainsbury's for some vitals.

"Avast behind Cook" says Gravy

"No need to be personal" I replied

"No lookie here there be three beef escalopes for a measly 90p"

"Argh the wonders of reducedtoclearman's magic pricing pistol are a wonder to behold. Quick stash that away in your ditty bag and lets be off"

So stocked up with cheap meat, veg and grog we scarpered into the jolly boat and were away before the excise men and the troopers could be on us.

This only took about ten minutes to cook and fed three of us.

Into a pan goes some oil followed, once the oil is nice and hot, by four chopped garlic cloves, four chopped finger chilis, about an inch of fresh ginger well chopped, one chopped onion and a punnet of mushrooms finely sliced.

Add two teaspoons of Chinese Five Spice, the two teaspoons of Sambal paste that were left in the fridge and a splash of light soy sauce to help draw the liquor out of the mushrooms. Give it a good stir and then add the finely sliced beef and a pack of okra also finely sliced. As it sizzles away add a slurp of Chinese black vinigar and serve up on a bed of rice while watching last week's episode of Heroes.