Scene one shell damaged town mansion house, rain dashing against the windows occasion thumps as cannon go off, lots of background noise from vehicles and planes

Brigadier "Wee Jock" Gordy Broooon enters sits down at conference table flanked by senior British, Canadian, American and Free European commanders

"Good evening gentlemen as you can see the campaign is facing its greatest crisis so far, we've lost Bradford and Bingley to Santander, since the Northern Rock disaster and now Sterling has been taken hostage by a foreign power"

"hostage, who by? Lets go git them thar good for nuthin doggone towel headed terrorists" butted in Major Palin who was gung ho for action.

"They are not that kind of foreigner, though we have invoked our anti terrorist laws against them" rejoined Jock

"Doggone it you mean there's more than one kind of foreigner? well lordy lordy dip me in dogshit"

"Thank you for your enthusiasm Major Palin, but these terrorists are from Iceland"

"what the shop where I can feed my family for a fiver?"

"No Capt Katona the island"

"So what we gonna do?"

"How about we call them lots of rude things, then cut council services and jobs, then pay private account holders back with tax payers money"

"OK sounds like a plan"