Ceridwenscauldron

Driving home through Hackney I spied a little dog step off the pavement into the road. His Neanderthal owner started shouting at him and when the dog returned walloped him as did the idiot's girlfriend.

People like that don't deserve to have animals. If the poor creature had been on a lead, as any responsible owner should have a dog in an urban environment, it would never have happened. And the poor little creature should have been praised for coming back when called not walloped. What a pair of lowlife scum those two were.

Then I witnessed an idiot cyclist shoot a red light and then swear at the oncoming motorist into who's path (and right of way) he steered before almost running down a bunch of pedestrians on a zebra crossing, who had the temerity to think that they were safe what with the lights being in their favour and everything. While I agree cycling is very green I am puzzled as to why so many cyclists are such a bunch of psychotic selfish bastards who think the highway code only applies to motorists and that pedestrians are merely targets.

"This here supermarket has bugger all in it" exclaimed Saucy Wench Tartare as she searched high and low for mushrooms.

"And there be no cherry toms or any toms at all in this scurvy veg locker" added Master Surgeon Tripe

From his position behind the empty trolly Bosun Gravy, shook his head despondently "Cook what are we going to eat tonight? I'm starvin and Spudsey needs something other than grog to line his rumblin guts."

"Well there be some chicken, tortilla wraps and some sauces here lets go Mexican!" I replied.

Ok this is how it came together.

Into a pan of hot oil chuck two chopped onions, six or seven smashed cloves of garlic and six chopped chile peppers (reduce if you don't like it too hot). Let it cook off for a bit, reducing the heat and adding two teaspoons Garum Massalla, a teaspoon of paprika before chucking in two finely sliced chicken breasts.

Let them fry off for a bit then add a glass of white wine and two teaspoons of Dijon Mustard and a handfull of freshly chopped Coriander. Let this reduce and then split the contents of the pan between six tortillas, add some grated cheese, roll em up and put em on the plate.

Add dollops of sour cream and chive dip, guacomole and tomato salsa to the plate. I'd have made my own salsa by chopping some red onion, tomato and coriander together had the supermarket had any decent tomatos.