Having been so busy with our trip to Ireland last week I only got round to opening the little pile of trade newspapers that had piled up over the last two weeks on Saturday morning.

So imagine my glee on finding the week before last's PR Week with the story that goes "Ken will win but Boris winning PR War says PRCA" (Public Relations Consultants Association). Got that a bit wrong chaps.

Then in the following week PR Week's big story is "Boris to Slash London PR Jobs".

Wonder why?

Mind the PRCA didn't get it as wrong as as Call me Dave did.

Fades back to Tory HQ last year, Call me Dave and spin doctors are enjoying a glass of organic water and a tasty dolphin and radicchio wrap.

Call me Dave: "What can we do with that buffoon Boris Johnson, he is always getting in my way with his bicycle and outspoken ways"

"yes Leader and since he is the only member of the Tory Party with any pesonality or chracter left unpurged, a potential threat to your leadership when the electorate realise you are just as rubbish as Gordon Brooon."

"yes I know, but I had a wizard wheeze last night - lets put him up against newt boy as London Mayor!"

"Brilliant idea Leader, he will never win and then he will get cheesed off with politics and go back to making an arse of himself on the telly."

"Any of those rocket and Condor egg ciabattas left?"

Of course the first Boris initiative banning booze from public transport, has been a great success we never saw no one at all swigging wine from plastic glasses(sophisticated eh?) or necking Magners out of the bottle on the DLR when we came home from Greenwich.

Saturday Morning.

"Shipscook the computer ain't working"

Phones computer company speaks to robot gets put on hold to rubbish 80s music.

"Hello what seems to be the problem?"

"Oh I turn the machine on and the screen goes black"

"Whats the doodad code"

"Where will I find that?"

"On a label on the computer"

"OK"

Gets onto floor and eventually finds tiny sticker grey with white copy so its really hard to read in the reduced light of under the table world.

"Its blah blah"

"Can you call back Monday to friday"

"Why"

"well there are no technicians on duty till then"

"Why didn't you tell me that before I had to crawl about on the floor?"

"Thank you for calling goodbye."

So we had no computer for the weekend calls again this morning, goes through the doodad number thing.

"Whats the problem?"

"I turn it on and the screen goes black"

"What colour does the screen go?"

"Black"

"so the screen goes black"

"yes"

"Are you in front of it now?"

"No I'm at work and the computer is at home"

"Oh you need to be in front of it so we can trouble shoot what's wrong"

"yes but from Monday to Friday I'm at work"

"well we have people here between 8.00 and 7.00 Saturday"

"But when I rang on Saturday I was told there was no one in technical support and to call back on Monday"

"Ah its a new intiative the operator prtobably didn't know about it"

I can see this won't be as easy as I thought