Like many of you shipmates out there I'm pleased to see the Dr back on our screens tonight, but not everyone is that happy.

I was just sitting down to my early morning bowl of hamster food when Dalek Sek turned up in his van

"Mornin Postie how are you?" I asked as I stumbled through the radioactive rubble that was all that remained of our porch to see if he had anything worth having.

"Mustn't grumble" he replied as usual "just more bills, a case of White Lightning from www.pissingyourselfinashopdoorway.co.uk for Spudsey and your copy of Old Groater. Sign here or face immediate destruction."

"Any tips for the big race?"

"Yes I fancy a punt of Comply or Die so do you"

Then before I could stop myself I said "Looking forward to the new series of Dr Who tonight?"

His side lights flashed with suppressed irritation "No I can't stand that rubbish myself I will be watching Relocation, Relocation, Relocation on Planet of the Apes TV, apparently Kirstie will be showing Zira and Cornelius how to give up their Tenerife beach pad for a condo in downtown Los Angeles in your twentieth century and then there is the big film Goodbye Mr Chimps."

"Anyway I can't stand here chatting all day, I've got a van load of stuff to deliver and the Master breathing down my back for my overtime docket"