I thought yesterday's Budget quite interesting.

First I was surprised at only 11p on a pack of gaspers, perhaps Darling is getting worried that if too many people give up he won't have any cash coming in to fund illegal wars. Don't worry me as I gave up eight years ago but bad news for small shops.

Second 4p on a pint of beer but 3p on a litre of cider. How is this equitable many ciders are stronger than some beers and the drink of choice by the binge drinking youth that are often used as an excuse to hit the drinker inn the pocket. Painful for pubs, but great news for bootleggers, booze cruisers and as Andrew Neill put it Columbian Cocaine barons as getting wasted on coke will become cheaper than having a few pints.

Cars and aviation easy target for raising tax, say no and an Okapi dies.

More cash for the armed services well what a surprise with two illegal wars to fight.

Well we all know that low cost flights are evil enough to cause an epidemic of homelessness amongst the polar bear community but did you know that they help to protect criminals on the run from Plod too.

Yes that's the latest piece of nutjobbery from Bernard Hogan Howe the Chief Constable of Merseyside who says that "second division" criminals are using lax border controls in Europe and low cost flights to evade justice.

I suppose your better class of villain who flys Club Class to Brazil and that's OK then Mtr Hogan Howe?

Well pardon me but you can't even get on a bloody plane at UK airports without showing a passport of photo ID at least twice so why can't crims be stopped before they leave then, or is this just a piece of annoying theatre designed to make us think the government are doing something to combat terrorism and to soften us up for carrying ID Cards?

And how many villains are jetting off to the Costa del Crime on EasyJet then? Well in January the Police named all of ten.

I went down Oxford Street in my lunchbreak and passed a market stall holder selling all that useless tat that tourists buy.

All of a sudden he opens his mouth and crys out "Eeeweeep steeeet ep" or something like that. No idea what he meant, perhaps as it is nearly Spring he is calling for a mate.

Well after that I popped into one of those trendy sushi joints. Lots of quite tasty morsals on offer, but at those prices £3.00 for two tiny bites that would leave a gnat hungry, just as well we have a pack of choccy biscuits and a couple of oranges back in the office.