Anyone see the channel 4 show Dispatches about Airports last night?

i thought it was very interesting when the talking head from BAA said the the three things his "customers" want are security, safety and retail. I don't think so.

Personally I want to get to the airport, get on the plane and then get off the plane and out of the airport on the other side as quickly as possible, without having to spend a huge wad of cash on overpriced food and merchandise or having to wait for over an hour for my baggage.

I see that Mr Broon wants to have a huge database of information on everybody who takes a flight, whether international or domestic, and who uses a ferry or a train to enter the UK. This info will be collected by the airlines, rail operators and ferry companies, passed on to the government and stored for 13 years (why 13 who knows?) to allow government agencies to carry out profiling.

The scheme which is way over the already strict EU monitoring proposal for international air passengers has been denounced by European civil liberties groups as "draconian and probably ineffectual" Having said that Brussels is currently proposing fingerprinting and collecting biometric information on non EU nationals entering or leaving EU territory.

The sort of info the nosy busybody wants includes your credit card details and mobile number and of course if you disagree you are soft on international terrorism.

So before you say if you have nothing to be frightened of if you haven't done anything wrong, think again. Criminals have always found ways past ID schemes and should someone hack into the system, well bingo, a wealth of info they can use to commit fraud on a grand scale. The recent fiasco of the lost DSS info I think shows what a poor guardian of data the government is.

What with the clamour for a national DNA database and ID cards before long you won't be able to buy a pound of cheese or a newspaper without the government and those they choose to share the info with knowing about it. And of course to finance this huge intrusion into our private life, don't think that selective info won't be sold on to big corporations who will then be able to target us for marketing any range of products or profile us as a credit or insurance risk.

And to think I once believed people like Jack Straw and Peter Hain when they said they were standing up for our liberties.

What's New Scooby Do?

Not much, certainly not the storyline about those pesky kids stopping me from getting away with it.

Same bad dress sense and crappy old van except that the lezzer has got a lappy

I was drying some glasses inthe kitchen this morning when I noticed Byron, the green woodpecker, probing the lawn for ants just outside the window.

So I called the Powder Monkey, she came and we watched him while he carried on just a few feet from the window.

Sometimes the simplest things can give you more pleasure than blowing huge wads of cash.

What's this, Basil Brush has swopped his rather fetching country gent ensemble for what looks like a shell suit.

I suppose his arse is hanging out of his pants too

My god is nothing sacred

Thats it I'm going home

lights dim, shuffles papers as cutlery drops out of his sleeve

Readv by Shipscook and Bosun Gravy

Bong!

Broken toilet seat in gents the misery continues

Bong!

Dennis Norden spotted in street again

Bong!

Man leaves Virgin Megastore unable to take any more Amy Winehouse

Bong!

So not much happening here today

I see the government are taking Northern Rock into "temporary public ownership" without even once mentioning the word nationalization.

Funny how that has become a dirty word to a Labour government.

Looking at that other great triumph of capitalist ideology over common sense, the Tories privatization of the Railways, how come German State Railways are buying up the Chiltern Line?, seems a bit mad to me that a foreign state rail operator is picking up one of the franchised rail lines, not to mention Ken Livingstone turning Silverlink into the London Overground.

Still the German Post Office is busy buying up parcel companies all over the world, it claims with its own profits not public subsidy, but hey don't that cash really belong to the German people?

Sinister little buggers aren't they?

I see from the news that the Chinese government have decided to ban horror movies as they think they are a bad influence on Chinese youth. Personally I think they might have done better to ban things like human rights abuses and torture, but there you go.

Interesting to see that Mr Broon, Dubbya and the forthcoming Olympic sponsors have all decided to not say a word about human rights abuses in the World's most populous country either. Hmm could that be something to do with the words emerging market?

There is an awful lot of cheap chicken in the supermarkets right now, probably because Pukka Jamie and Huge Furry Whitgenstein have been banging on about factory farming.

I'm not getting into the politics around this, but here is something quick and easy you can do with chicken pieces.

Cut the chicken into cubes and thread it on to a skewer, give it a sprinkling of rice wine vinegar and then a dusting with Thai seven spice powder. Bung it under the grill and give it a few turns until its cooked through. Plate up on a bed of rice, smoother it with Satay sauce and sprinkle some chopped coriander over the top.

To make the satay sauce take three good spoonfulls of peanut butter (crunchy is best) add the juice of a lime, two table spoons of dark soy sauce, two table spoons of rice wine vinegar, two table spoons of toasted sesame oil and about two table spoons of Thai sweet chile dipping sauce and just mix it together. You don't even need to heat it up.

We had it with some Soave while watching Toturewood.

I read in the papers today that the US government now wants European Airlines to provide even more information on passengers travelling to the US or even flying over its airspace otherwise they may reintrioduce Visas. This would involve filling in an on-line form when booking your ticket essentially asking for permission to enter the USA.

Now if this meant that you could just get off the plane at the other end without having to face a grilling from US Immigration and the Dept of Homeland Security maybe it wouldn't be so bad, after all anyone who has passed through a US Airport knows what a nightmare ordeal it is, but I bet it won't be like that, we will still be photographed and finger printed like felons.

In my opinion I can live without all this rubbish, if the Americans don't want my cash, they can get lost I'm quite happy to spend it somewhere where I feel much more at home culturally, somewhere with vibrant cities, great art and relaxed people namely Europe.

In another story the Bush administration tell us Europeans we are not pulling our weight in Afghanistan and its endangering the NATO alliance. With respect NATO was created to counter the threat of Russia and its allies not one of Dubbya's illegal wars.

Ok folks this is how I made em.

Bung a large slug of pastis in some gogi berry juice and take a swig. Then slap Rasputina's Radical Recital on the stereo.

Olive oil goes in the pan followed by a chopped onion, six chopped chile peppers, a leek, a cube of chopped ginger and six smashed cloves of garlic. Let it sizzle away for a bit to soften up, then add two teaspoons of ground cumin, a good sueeze of harissa paste and a teaspoon of lime powder (you can get this from middle eastern food stores). Give it a stir then add a can of chopped tomatoes and about a pint of water.

Grab a lime and cut it into quarters, squeeze the juice into the pan and then chuck in the lime pieces. Now one of the things about Morrocan cuisine is the counterpoint of sweet and sour flavours so when I had a look in the fridge and found half a jar of red currant jelly I thought in it goes. Then I saw the left over fine green beans and pea greens. The beans were topped and tailed then chopped in half while the pea greens were finely chopped. In they went followed most of a pack of fresh coriander chopped fine and a handfull of unsalted cashew nuts and some pumpkin seeds.

when the liquor has reduced chuck in some cooked prawns and a good spoonful of honey give it a stir and let it have a few minutes to finish off.

I served this on a bed of Sainsbury Morrocan style cous cous with a good piece of chopped coriander as a garnish and a whacking great bottle of Italian white.

My old friend Otto treated me to lunch yesterday at Carluccio's in London's Smithfield. The lunch was very pleasant I had the Penne Giardiano, Otto the Tortolini with ham while his lovely wife Chi had the lasagne.

My fresh Penne was cooked in butter with shredded courgette, chile and deep fried spinach balls, absolutely delicious. Otto obviously enjoyed his Tortolini judging by the enthusiasm with which he made it disappear and Chi wondered why she could never make lasagne taste so good at home. The meal was washed down with a very pleasant Sicilian red wine and all very reasonable at about £7.50 for each pasta dish and £15 for the wine.

Now I have known Otto for some time and he is a very interesting fellow having escaped Czechoslovakia when the Nazis invaded and joined the British Army during World War Two, so he always has something interesting to say but I could not help notice the evident enthusiasm with which that both he and Chi greeted the news that I was under medication for my blood pressure.

"Oh what kind of medicines are you on?" they both animatedly asked.

Well I guess I have now joined the club where talking about your ailments has become the new sex!

In a feature on working for the CSI Channel (Ch 5) a young marketing exec refers to Neighbours (due to be launched onnthe channel this weekend) as a "Massive Brand"

After the initial surprise that the show is still going, I reflected on what bloody nonsense some people in branding and marketing talk, Neighbours a brand? Its a bloody TV show not a bloody fast food chain.

I saw a story in one of the papers about how drinking a pint of beetroot juice a day can help to lower blood pressure naturally.

Now I like beetroot but somehow the idea of drinking a pint of beetroot juice seems a bit too daunting.

On the question of my hypertension I saw the doctor on Monday and it has come down a bit since bering put on the ACE inhibitors. He has changed the ACE inhibitor that I'm on because I developed a cough which apperently happens to 10% of users.

Still its early days yet but the news is encouraging.

OK what's the betting now that Rhys knows what's going on at Torchwood HQ that before this series ends

1. He finds out that Gwen has been shaging Owen

2. he dies saving Gwen

3. Both

I just saw the headline story on Ch4's News at Noon.

The government's latest wheeze to deflect attention from the state of the economy and the continued support for Dubbya's illegal wars and insane foreign policy, is to urge the police to confiscate booze from underage drinkers in public. (Which they already have the power to do anyway if they believe the kids are going to drink it).

Now I don't actually think this is a too bad idea if it cuts down on booze fuelled crime and makes the streets a bit more pleasant for us folks, it will appeal to the Daily Mail readers, but I'm not sure that its been thought through.

Lets face it if the kids can manage to buy the stuff, they can find somewhere to drink it out of sight of the cops. This only drives the problem out of sight. I know why don't we just drive the problem complely underground so that some enterprising crim can bootleg booze to the kids.

Mind you I don't think we can blame the under 18's for most of this booze fuelled nastyness. I have seen four squad cars called out to one of the "nice" clubs with gentleman bouncers at a quarter past seven (I was on the way to the supermarket) to sort out a "disagreement" between perfectly legal drinkers and people driving down the high street hurling verbal abuse to passers by while necking Stella from a can. I'd like to see the sort of boozers that serve these idiots have their licences suspended or taken away and any idiot caught pissed in a car, banned for life.

I was also most amused to see that the government's thunder on this issue was stolen by the leaked Flanagan Report that revealed just how much Police time was wasted on form filling and the quite astonishing fact that imposing targets has resulted in arrests for the most trivial offences where a stiff talking to would have done (including an arrest for obstructing a public highway with a snowman) instead of dealing with real crimes that impact on people's lives that are a bit more complex to solve. Remember this is our money being wasted here in the pursuit of some management consultant's wet dreams.

Going back to the question of underage boozing I though Ch4 handled the interview with Jacqui Smith, the Home Secretary, pretty poorly, when asked about when as a mother she let her own kids have a taste of wine with Sunday lunch, she was allowed to get away with some prepared statement on the harm booze does young people, when the correct journalistic response would have been "With respect Home Secretary you have just avoided the question" and no matter what the response to run the broadcast with it.

The Christian Congress for Traditional Values have taken out newspaper adverts claiming that gay people want to abolish the family. The Advertising Standards Agency has quite rightly banned any furthur publication of this nonsense.

It's seeing this kind of hate filled bigotry in the name of religeon that makes me glad to be an agnostic.

Why are people taken in by this kind of rubbish?

When we toddled down to the local Farmer's Market on Sunday morning one of the stall holders had a lovely display of smoked duck. "Its good with tagliatelle and a cream sauce" he says.

OK I think lets give it a whirl.

So into a pan goes some virgin olive oil, half a sliced red onion and a couple of smashed garlic cloves, let that cook a bit until the onion is nice and soft.

Meanwhile I slice the smoked duck breast very thin with my nice new very, very sharp chef's knife takin extra care not to slice my fingers too!

Into a pot of boiling water goes a pack of fresh tagliatelle pasta, it only need four minutes. The duck goes into the pan with the onions and garlic together with some torn up fresh basil leaves, plenty of freshly milled black pepper and a pot of single cream for a stir about add the pasta when its done, stir some more and plate up wih a bit of grated cheese on the top (I used cheddar as I forgot to buy some Parmesan when I went to the supermarket)

I served this up with a salad of chopped tomatoes, one finely chopped chile pepper, coriander and basil leaves, the other half of the red onion and some roughly chopped unsalted cashew nuts with a lime juice, dijon mustard and olive oil dressing and a bottle of chilled Orvieto while Old Nick, Mrs F and I watched the Top Gear caravan holiday, very amusing it was too.

I see our new housing minister Caroline Flint would like to make the provision of council housing conditional to applicants activly seeking work. Interesting idea and one that will of course appeal to the natural New Labour voters who read the Daily Mail.

The basic flaw in her idea is that it would require a change in the law governing council's legal obligations towards finding accomodation for the homeless and therefore is no more than the usual worthless spin that we have become accustomed to from this bunch of hypocrites as they try to woo Middle Englanders.

She did go on to say that "Living in an area where there is a concentration of unemployment can be a deterrent to finding work" and proposes setting up Job Centres in council estates where there is high unemployment. Well call me a cynic but if an area has a problem with high unemployment then looking for new jobs won't conjure them as if by magic out of the air.

Mind you there will bve a couple of new jobs in the Job Centres I suppose.

As anyone who has to watch what they eat for health reasons or because they are a hamster, knows salad can be very boring but try this.

Chop up a green chili, half a red onion, a bunch of mint leaves, a couple of tomatoes and some sugar snap peas. Put them in a bowl and mix em together. Make a dressing of lime juice, toasted sesame oil and wassabi paste and pour it over the top.

Blinding with a jacket spud dressed with Cook's Tuna Mix.

Put the other half of the chopped red onion in a bowl and mix with a can of Tuna in sunflower oil (drain most but not all of the oil out first) and a generous dollop of salad cream. Give it a stir and stuff it in your spud.

You know I don't find it hard to believe that more people believe Sherlock Holmes was a real person than Winston Churchill.

After all who'd think that an overweight, cigar smoking drunk could lead a nation through one of the greatest conflicts of the last century when we all know overeating, drinking and smoking turn people into a drain on the nation's resources and they should be hounded out of decent society.

While we are at it did you know that Professor Challenger discovered the dinosaurs that Speilburg used in Jurassic Park in South America and that HP sauce is really the ectoplasm of Cthulu

I see that TV Licensing are so concerned about the public perception of a business that enforces payments that they are going to have their logo redesigned.

Hold on a minute is there a choice about who enforces payment?

No so rebranding would be a complete waste of money wouldn't it?

Not according to Richard Buchanon of the company Dave he says you need to make people feel good about paying the money. What utter crap, frankly Mr Buchanon I don't like paying up for TV sport, reality shows, soap opera and makeover shows but rebranding TV licensing won't make me feel any happier about coughing up for it.

Now what does the company Dave do?

Oh yes brand consultancy, now there is a surprise.

And who is going to pay for the rebranding?

Oh yeah its the licence payer and guess what Mr Buchanon I sure as hell ain't happy about that!

So what's going on in ITV's, its not really like Torchwood, honest but with dinosaurs, show.

A shark and a blobby seal thing with arms from the future - right like creatures from the future don't require any research and you can just make them and their behaviour up, or you can borrow it from the film Creep, like the bit where the blond kid and the basketball kid get stored in a watery pit.

For some reason I am strangely drawn to watching this show and there is now some kind of conspiracy cover up sub plot going on too that makes it a bit more interesting, but there is a real danger that it is soon going to become just too silly.

according to the papers, has said "I am not a crook" and claims that he has done nothing wrong. OK then why is he giving the money back and giving up his seat at the next election? I think its high time these so called representatives stopped handing out research, secretarial and personal assistant jobs to family at the tax payers expense.

Kenneth Carke admitted on Newsnight that had anyone behaved that way in business they'd have been sacked! This is our money these people are helping themselves to, MP's allowences should be properly audited to stop this kind of abuse.

Ok I know I havn't done much in way of food just lately so here is another dish to whet te appetite.

Empty a can of tuna in sunflower oil into the pan, add a teaspoon of Burmese Balachaung, a chopped onion, six chopped cloves of garlic, four chopped chile peppers, a lump of chopped ginger, a teaspoon of powdered lime, some finely chopped coriander and a good sprinkling of Thai Seven Spice powder. Give it a good stir around.

Once the onions are going a bit soft chuck in some prawns, a can of chopped tomatoes and a can of coconut milk and let it bubble away.

Boil some egg noodles until they are soft then chuck em in a frying pan with some frying Chinese leaves, peanut sprouts and chives. add a splash of soy sauce and some Chinese rice wine to finish off.

Plate up the noodles then pour some of the curry over it lovely with some cold beer or chilled Soave.

Music: This dish was prepared to the Blues Roots of Led Zeppelin including Ledbelly, John Lee Hooker and Big Bill Broonzy

Today's Telegraph included a list of stuff nicked from the police that has been made available under the Public Information Act. Now I think the cops mostly do a brilliant job, but you have to worry when they lose stuff like dogs (3) vehicles (27), computers (50)and 189 mobile phones.

Now I can understand how the odd cone goes missing but the Staffordshire force lost a flatbed truck and south Wales had two marked cop cars taken. The most outrageous theft though was of three flat screen TVs off the back of a lorry as they were being delivered to a police station in Cheshire.

Also missing are 187 pairs of handcuffs, er try looking in the girlfriend's knicker drawer a waggish friend suggests.

I bought this stuff in one of the supermarkets of this here London's Chinatown. It a kind of fish sauce made with shrimp, chili, garlic and tamarind and according to the instructions on the jar can be used as a sandwich filling, though having tried a bit on bread I wouldn't recomend it! however it is good in many far eastern inspired dishes.

Well so it said on the side of a bus down here in that there London.

Fuck off it is!

This really is the daddy of all Dino movies and an interesting antique I picked up for only £3 on DVD. The story is pretty much what you would expect. Challenger goes off in search of fabled lost world of dinosaurs, Dinos chase people around a bit, cub reporter falls in love with girl, volcano erupts, dinos stampede, Challenger brings Brotosaurus back to London where it escapes and smashes the place up a bit.

All very familiar stuff but what makes this movie interesting is that it was the first film to do so. The script is by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle from his own novel.

The stop-motion creature effects are by Willis O'Brien who later animated King Kong. Given their vintage O'Brien's effects are really quite good and the creatures featured include a pterandon, an allosaurus and some horned dinosaurs, along with the afore mentioned brontosaurus.

Given the film's vintage (it is of course silent) there are some wild bits of gurning to camera and a white person blacked up to look like a native porter, but otherwise not a badly paced action thriller, which clearly influenced King Kong nearly a decade on and most subsequent Dino pictures from the plain daft Doug McClure Edgar Rice Burroughs flicks of the mid 70s to Jurassic Park and its sequels.

As a footnote I believe it was also the first film to be shown as an in-flight movie on an Imperial Airways flight way back in 1925