The thing about being a ship's cook is the need to improvise.

On the voyage home from Whipsnade we decided to pillage Waitrose. Now what with it being 6.30 in the evening there was bugger all there.

"What can we eat Shipscook?" demanded Bosun Gravy.

"Aye I'm fit to starve for want of vitals" added Master Surgeon Tripe.

"Well there be some reduced Alaskan Salmon and some scallops we could fry em together in butter with a tomato salsa and warm new spud salad with some of them there chives" I said.

So on with the vintage Richard and Linda Thompson (Hokey Pokey, from 1975 before they became muslims and got divorced, By the way anyone see This is Hawkwind do not Panic last night on BBC 4 awesome! mental note I need Space Ritual on CD)

Ok the Salmon and Scallops pan fried in butter I don't think I need to tell ye how to do it, same with the spud salad, just refer to my previous recipe and use chives instead of spring onions.

For the salsa drink a bottle of French lager, 30p from my friend Reduced to Clear Man at Sainsbury, then chop three bird's eye chilis, a good handfull of fresh coriander, some fresh basil, a red onion and some tomatoes and bung em in a dish add a teaspoon of horseradish mustard and mix it all together with your freshly scrubbed mits. Stick it in the fridge until you need it. Then make a a gin and It while the spuds cook foillowed by a bottle of 90p Hobgoblin also from Reduced to Clear Man.

Serve it all up together with lashings of beer. Fall Over

Night Night