We are speeding down a mountain road somewhere on the Mediterranean coast of France, Mr Wolf and I. From behind the passenger in the black Mercedes saloon chasing us opens fire with an automatic pistol.

Rat'a'tat tat the bullets thud into the road surface, sending up sherds of tarmac, as Mr Wolf takes evasive action. I lean out of the window and shoot off a few rounds from my Heckler and Koch semi-automatic. From above a Black Hawk helicopter looms down on us machine guns blasting 7.62mm shells along side our vehicle, Mr Wolf floors the accelerator as I cling on for dear life. Tearing round a mountain bend the road is blocked by Challenger 2 Tank. The turret swivels bringing its 120mm cannon to bear on us, There is no choice, Mr Wolf bears of the road through the crash barrier and we are airborne hundreds of feet above the breakers pounding the rocks below.

"We're going to die 007!" I shout as the wind whistles through the open window.

"No need to worry" says Mr Wolf flipping a switch on the dashboard. Wings sprout from the vehicle's side and a prop from the rear springs into life, the car banks steeply up into the air as Mr Wolf pulls back the steering wheel.

"Thank god for Q and his marvellous inventions!" I exclaim.

Pulling a latex mask from his face Mr Wolf says "Sorry wrong Ian Fleming fantasy" as he reveals his true persona as Dick Van Dyke.

"Oh you pretty Chitty Bang Bang"

Silently I open the door and cast myself into the sea.

One of my designer chums treated me to lunch at Jamie Oliver's Fifteen restaurant today.

It was very good, I had beef carpaccio to start, lovely moist red beef with horseraddish and herbs, followed by Arctic char with a medley of mushroom, courgette and peppers - not had char before the flavour was similar to trout but a little meatier - and to finish a delicious raspberry meringue, very light with the tart lemon counterpointing the sweetness of the raspberry.

The restaurant is on two levels the upstairs being an informal trattoria and the downstairs being the main dining room where you can watch the food preparation through a porthole to the kitchen. Good atmosphere, attentive staff and great food. A bit expensive at about £40 per person before drinks and coffee, but you get a good sized portion for your money and its very tasty.

Recommended for an extra special treat: fifteen, 15 Westland Place, Islington N1

Mrs F tagged me with this a while back, ,so I thought I better get around to it. I found it difficult to decide on one so I chose three

I'd like to be Dr Watson (as Conan Doyle wrote him, not the buffoon played by Nigel Bruce in the Rathbone movies) as he was clever and reliable, and a good friend to Sherlock Holmes without Holmes's mental problems, drug addiction and depression,

Or Stephen Maturin the ship's surgeon, naturalist and sometimes spy - the brainy foil to Patrick O'Brian's Captain Jack Aubrey in Master and Commander

or Richard Sharpe who despite being a right thug is still galant to the ladies and looks great in tight breeches