It were a long and tardy sail back to our secret pirate harbour deep in the heart of Essex and when we got there the scurvy shops were all shut.
A quick look in the cupboard revealed two cans of tuna in sunflower oil and some pasta, "Huzzah for Cook" Mrs F, Capt. Nick and Moff cheered "We are all saved!"
Ok make yourself a quick Daquiri with some pineapple and coconut stuff from the service station and a couple of tots of rum, "Arr that's better!"
Sling the oil from the tuna in the pan and fry up with two chopped onions, six garlic cloves, a couple of chopped birds eye chilis with the seeds (I used six, but then as some of my ladeez know I'm hot stuff!), about a teaspoon of dried herbs, half a teaspoon of cinnamon, two teaspoons of Hungarian paprika (Spanish pimenton is fine as an alternative), a teaspoon of horseraddish sauce (no mustard in the cupboard either!)and a couple of twists of black pepper.
As the onions soften chuck a dash of dry sherry to degaze the pan then sling in a punnet of mushrooms and cook these down with a dash of soy to release their liquor. Then chuck in both the cans of tuna and a can of tomato puree, give it a stir and top up with water. Sling in a dash of Worcester sauce and a chicken stock cube, give it another good before chucking in whatever pasta you have in the house. About half to two thirds of a small bag will do four. Let it bubble away for about ten minutes giving it the odd stir until the pasta is al dente and the sauce has thickened up.
Ok while this is bubbling away take two small ciabaddas cut them in half and then slice them open. Bruise some cloves of garlic and rub them over the exposed bread, then chop em up fine and sprinkle the garlic on the bread. After discovering that there is no marge or butter in the fridge place the bread crust side down on a baking tray and cover with thinly sliced cheddar. Slam it in the oven for about three to five minutes so the cheese gets to melt.
With a bit of luck both dishes should be ready at the same time, so sling the pasta on the plates and serve up to the hungry crew topped with grated cheddar and freshly ground black pepper along with the plate of hot cheesy garlic bread.
Cooking time just 30 minutes just the thing for a bunch of starving freebooters.
