Arr a big pirate welcome to new crewmates La Spice and Kevin Wilson sure to be a handsome addition to the scurvy crew of vagabonds sailing under the flag of Captain Nick, Leading Wench Mrs F and Petty Officer Walrus, otherwise known as the Ship's Cook.

Arr it be good to be back in a safe harbour after the hellish nightmare of another week at work so lets all have some grog and fall over.

Take a tumbler chuck in some ice fill halfway with a good gin like Bombay Saphire, Tanqueray, Larious or good old Plymouth Navy Gin. Top up with some red vermouth (I used Sainsbury's own brand, no point wasting dubloons on brands at twice the price for the red muck unlike the extra dry where I'd willingly pay extra for Noily Pratt) Take a wedge of orange squeeze it over the top, chuck it in the glass, slip on some sounds (Yngwie Malmsteen's album of covers right now - some work some don't, but always good to hear something new.) Drink up and contemplate the nautical high jinks to come.

Morning shipmates 'ere be a recipe for all you veggies as an alternative to my royal chili. This b'ain't one of cookies but one of leading wench Mrs F's recipes as you can tell cos it ain't got no grog or meat in it and contains scurvy lentils.

Ingredients

Filling
A couple of cups of mixed no need to soak lentils
1 medium size potato peeled and cubed
Tin of Kidney beans drained and rinsed
Chopped up onion
Loads of chopped up garlic
2 teaspoons ground cumin (jeera)
1 teaspoon of dried red chili powder
1 (or more) fat green chili according to taste
Some oregano
tomato puree
Some vegetarian stock (usually about one and a half pints)
A little olive oil for frying.

You will also need
A pack of soft flour tortillas

grated cheddar cheese (optional)

(Or you could used chapatis)

For topping
Some guacomole, some sour cream, some salsa

Method

Fry the spices, potatoes, onions and garlic in olive oil.

Add the stock and the herbs, add the lentils and cook according to instructions (usually about 20 mins to half an hour). Add the tinned beans and the tomato puree and cook for about 10 mins or so till nice and thick and tasty.

Now stuff the tortillas with the lentil mixture and some cheddar cheese if you like and roll them up like so they look like fat sausages and top them with a dollop each of guacamole, sour cream and salsa.

If you want a meat version of the above just subsitute mince for the lentils and fry the onions and spices and garlic and potatoes with the mince in stead of using olive oil as enough fat will come out of the mince.